Short on time? Fancy a skim? Scroll down (up?) until you reach the TLDR banner for the highlights. TW: This book/post explores themes of grief, death, and mental health.
My first run-in with the heartless beast that’s corporate America happened when I was in the second grade (whatever age that was).
My dad, a retired U.S. Army veteran turned loyal foot soldier for a global tech company, sacrificed his presence in my childhood for the promise of the American dream. When he wasn’t at the office or on the road, we joined him at the country club to get face time with his senior leaders. Added nuance that we were the lone raisins in a sea of marshmallow fluff (if you catch my drift), making assimilation — playing the corporate game — critical.
I don’t recall the exact events, just that one day my dad was there, the next he was in the hospital undergoing emergency surgery. It was while he was in the hospital that his company laid him off.
In the years that followed, my dad, who had given his all for a country that had shown time and time again that he was not welcome, was forced to give his all to whatever job he could find. From sweeping floors to working in local hardware stores, he did what he had to do to maintain the illusion of the status quo, both to stay in our predominantly white neighborhood and keep me enrolled in my private, predominantly white school.
Among the things I remember from that time is him being so exhausted that he poured orange juice into my cereal one morning instead of milk. Sure, we laugh about it now, but years later, I’d recognized it as my first glimpse of the underbelly of what the American Dream really means: that for most, success is found between doing what we need to do to get by.
I believe that to also be the first time I realized how disposable we are; I simply lacked the lexicon to describe it.
DISCONTENT by Beatriz Serrano (her debut!) follows the protagonist, Marisa — a 30-something millennial who works at an advertising agency in Madrid. From the outside, her life is like a beautifully curated Instagram feed: a great job, a gorgeous apartment in central Madrid, a fabulous paycheck with a matching wardrobe, the ability to take long lunches at her leisure, a side job as a college teacher, and a drama-free, casual hookup.
But, behind the filters and fits, she’s slowly drowning in a well of self-imposed existential dread that is the banality of corporate life.
It’s a quiet novel in every sense, with no childhood trauma or backstory that explains why she feels as she does. She’s unhappy because she’s allowed herself to become complacent, full stop.
Throughout this first-person narrative, Marisa grapples with what happiness and fulfillment mean to her. For some, it’s grandiose; for others, it’s much simpler. Sometimes, it’s the simple path that we need but fail to accept, as societal, cultural, and parental expectations have conditioned us to want more because we’re entitled to more. Because they sacrificed so we could strive for more. To never settle.
The thing is, what’s settling for one person is success for another. It’s simply a matter of perspective.
“I guess I made the wrong decision. Or maybe, between the possibility of being happier and buying more things, I chose to buy more things.”
Usually, I have some minimally whimsical story about how I came to choose the books I write about. Ngl, I have no fucking clue how I came across the book. I’d planned to write about a different book entirely, but while it lives as a recommendation on one of my recent virtual bookstore lists, I didn’t love it enough to write about it.
And no, I will not confirm – only deny – which book it is, as one person’s ‘meh’ is another’s ‘wow’.
Anyway, somewhere between a search for its replacement and destiny, life connected me with DISCONTENT, and I’m so thrilled it did, as it’s exactly what I needed to read at this moment in time.
I understand what it’s like to be force-fed the promise that by doing everything “right,” you’d be happy and successful. So, I followed that right for the many but wrong for me, and now I’m a cliched elder millennial who’s burned out with knotted shoulder muscles shaking under the weight of student loan debt; terrified of the fact that in a few short weeks, this currently (vastly) underemployed aspiring author with two master’s degrees and nearly two decades of portfolio-worthy experience is on the verge of once again being unemployed.
I don’t know if I’m more stressed or lonely, as the isolation underpinning the desperation of unemployment isn’t exactly a topic of choice for the LinkedInfluencers (TM) who fill my feed as I submit my 600-something job application.
Sigh of sadness.
The employed aren’t faring much better. According to a recent Jobs for the Future study, 60% of U.S. workers across industries and job types feel they are not in quality jobs. Quality jobs are defined as:
Fair pay that covers their bills and stable employment
Being in a workplace that’s free from discrimination or harassment
Tangible and accessible growth and development opportunities
Having agency and voice
A predictable schedule and manageable workload
Funny, that list doesn’t include pipe dreams like affordable healthcare and benefits like guaranteed paid maternity/paternity leave.
What a time to be alive.
“If everyone realized how unimportant they actually were and how easily they could be replaced, they might be a bit nicer to each other.”
Good news/bad news: I have a pocketful of job trauma stories to tell. Stories like,
The job that threatened to rescind my offer (and reimbursement for relocation expenses) so that I could attend the funeral of a friend who died from cancer. All because I requested a delay in my start date by a few days.
The manager who called one of my product line proposals “wildly out of touch” only to proceed to steal my entire presentation and present it as hers. It went on to win awards. I went on to be placed on a PIP.
Most recently, the senior leader who sexually harassed me got caught (there was a witness who spoke up), and got promoted instead of being punished, only to unleash an 18-month-long retaliation campaign against me that ended in me being forced out.
Meh, none of those will do. I think I’ll go with how I found out a former colleague died.
A colleague who was highly admired and respected. A mentor to many, a friend to even more. He was what we lovingly referred to as a “lifer,” as that company was where he started and would surely retire from. The embodiment of servant leadership, he was loyal to the company as an employee and to the brand as a customer. He was the heart of the department and the soul of his team.
Then, one night, he fell asleep next to the love of his life for the last time, transitioning as quietly as dusk to dawn.
I didn’t learn of his untimely passing from former colleagues-turned-friends. Instead, I first had an inkling that something was awry when I saw his beloved job posted on LinkedIn. At first, I took it as he’d finally accepted an overdue promotion; odd because he was quite content retiring from the level he’d been at for years. I didn’t find the lack of activity on his personal LinkedIn account suspicious, as he was rarely, if ever, on it.
It wasn’t until a few weeks later that I saw an Instagram story of one of his (now former) direct reports that he had tragically passed, as his team had an intimate celebration of life gathering.
Being of a curious mind, I did some digging, which led to the super fun realization that his job was posted within the week of his passing.
No dedicated post from the company expressing sympathies. They did, however, put up a postcard-sized “In Memory” plaque several months later on the floor he once proudly walked, paid for by his former team of direct reports.
DISCONTENT is for those who understand what it’s like to define yourself by your job. Who’ve chased job titles and raced up corporate ladders out of a belief that fulfillment would be found on its rungs. Only to realize you’ve been sold an aspirational load of bullshit, leaving you feeling lost with elevated cortisol levels, questioning why you’re deeply unhappy as you slather overpriced lotion an IG influencer said was amazing onto your calloused hands.
If you’re a millennial or Gen X’er who craves smart, sharp observational prose that dismantles social expectations, balanced with sardonic wit, this book is for you. Likewise, if you veer towards emotionally resonant and self-aware stories about identity, dissatisfaction, and reinvention, add DISCONTENT to your TBR immediately.
4-week reading schedule
Week 1: 1-35
Week 2: 36-71
Week 3: 72-115
Week 4: 116-177
Elevating the literary vibes with a little drink and snack pairing.
An uplift
Cortado
Rich and bittersweet. Like the book, it’s giving wake the fuck up and do-something vibes. Best served when you can sit and zone out.
A pastry
Basque Cheesecake
Crackly, imperfect, and unapologetic. It’s bold, undone, and a comforting accompaniment to your existential spirals.
I’m no longer much of a journaler per se, but I am a writer, which is basically journaling, as the ideas for my pieces often stem from the reflections on questions that weigh on me in some way. All of which play out in my internal monologue. It’s quite the space to be.
Here are a few reflections to try based upon my experience with the book:
When did you last post something that didn’t feel like you – did it perform better? How did that make you feel?
What’s one version of yourself you’ve outgrown but are still performing for someone/something else?
Have you ever curated a “better” life and still felt hollow? What’s one thing that’s taught you, and what change will you commit to going forward?
What would you do differently if no one could see it?
For additional recommendations, you can find these books in my virtual bookstore*
Read
Discontent by Beatriz Serrano
Animals by Emma Jane Unsworth
The Wilderness by Angela Flournoy
Good Material by Dolly Alderton
Careering by Daisy Buchanan
Thirst Trap by Grainne O’Hare
Honeybee by Dawn O’Porter (currently not available on bookshop)
Severance by Ling Ma
Green Dot by Madeleine Gray
Watch
TV
I May Destroy You
Up Here
Black Mirror “Nosedive” (season 3)
Fleabag
Film
Not Okay
The Worst Person in the World
Past Lives
Sybil (1976)
If you are a reader exhausted by performative perfection and #girlboss vibes, someone who once believed ambition and gusto would lead to happiness and corporate success, DISCONTENT is for you. It’s a stellar read for those late-night rethinking your entire life, questioning how you got to where you are, but need a solid laugh.
DISCONTENT is for millennial women unraveling quietly in curated spaces.
Its sardonic, self-deprecating humor is brutally observant and low-key devastating in the best way.
Chances are, you’ll vibe with this book if you’re done chasing aspirational “girl boss” corporate aesthetics and ready to see things as they are.
Bonus: it may inspire you to jet off to Madrid.
Author interview
*Note, this interview is in Spanish as this author lives in Spain. Turn on closed captioning with translation here:
And just like that, we’ve reached the end.
Until next time,
Enjoyed this post? Yay! Please remind the algorithm I exist by liking/sharing this post, along with subscribing. Still feeling enthusiastic? Here’s another way to show support to this underemployed aspiring author:
Buy me a coffee via a one-time monetary gift. I can’t guarantee I’ll actually buy myself a coffee (I might?). But I will be eternally grateful for the pearl of a human you are:
Btw, did you know 20% of all monetary gifts (in total) received will be donated annually to a U.S.-based dog rescue of my choosing? The chosen dog rescue will be shared upon completion of the donation.
*Required disclosure: This link is an affiliate link. Meaning, I receive a smidgen of commish with any purchases made upon clicking this link, all of which come from the indie bookstores serving your local community.
If you need to be budget-conscious right now, I get it, friend (me too). Show your support and head to your local library!
